“What would happen if we agreed instead of disagreed? Problems would be solved and there would be more action.”

Charna Halpern et al., Truth in Comedy

“The big question is whether you are going to be able to say a hearty yes to your adventure.”

Joseph Campbell, Author, The Hero with 1,000 Faces

John Lennon met Yoko Ono at a showing of her artwork in New York. He browsed and eventually came upon a magnifying glass, which was hanging from the ceiling. Below it, Ono had placed a painter’s ladder, and Lennon climbed the ladder, took up the glass, and held it to a tiny message written on the ceiling. The single word scribed there was “Yes.” Lennon said that it was that piece, with that specific word, that kindled his interest in Ono.

The most important, fundamental rule of improv is: “Say, ‘Yes, and…’.” It is the principle by which improvisers live, and arguably every other principle is simply a subset of this master tenet. “Yes, and” means accept what is offered by your partner (or the environment) and build with it. “Yes, and” is a phrase that is ubiquitous in the improv community. Johnstone discusses the power of “Yes, and-ing.” “Yes,& Productions” is the ImprovOlympic producing organization, and www.yesand.com is a major discussion forum for improvisers around the world. I believe the phrase, as well as the concept, originated with Viola Spolin in her book Improvisation for the Theater.

“Yes, And” is both an incredibly simple and a deeply profound tool for solving problems, building relationships, and creating new products. Organizations have embraced the concept more directly and enthusiastically than any other improv approach, and applied improv practitioners continue to expand its usefulness in developmental situations. Let’s break it down and take a look:

Through my collaboration with the folks in the Applied Improv community, and most specifically with the principles of Performance of a Lifetime, and I have come to understand the “yes, and” rule in two distinct ways.

The first is the more literal, and it is the way it has been initially understood and implemented by organizations: be more positive, say yes more, look for the places to agree. Spontaneity, which we discussed in such great detail in the last chapter, can be seen as Internal Yes, and-ing. It can be defined as a willingness to accept what our minds and bodies are offering us. Accepting and building with other people’s ideas is the next step. For some of us, that proves much harder. For others of us, perhaps it is more comfortable. But ultimately, what improvisers know is that if we are going to work collaboratively, at some point we must “yes, and” ourselves and our partners, because that is all we’ve got.

Take a look at this illustrative activity, based on Johnstone. “But vs. And” is played in two rounds. In Round 1, five volunteers are asked to plan a company picnic or holiday party. After the first suggestion is made (for example, “Let’s have the party in Hawaii.”), each successive idea must begin with the words “Yes, but…”. It usually goes something like this:

“Let’s have the party in Hawaii.”

“Yes, but… that’s so far away.”

“Yes, but… we could take a plane.”

“Yes, but… some people don’t like to fly.”

“Yes, but… they could take a boat.”

“Yes, but… that would take too long.”

“Yes, but… we could have the party ON a boat, like a cruise!”

“Yes, but… some people get seasick.”

“Yes, but… you’re all wimps!”

Entertaining, perhaps, but not much of a party plan. If the exercise does not conclude in an argument, it tends to degenerate into lots of discouraged and silent participants staring at each other and the facilitator, devoid of ideas. Everyone is relieved to sit down.

In Round 2, the volunteers try again. They are invited to complete the same task – planning a company party – with one variation. This time, instead of starting their sentences with “Yes, but…” they begin each offer with the words, “yes, AND…”. With the adjustment, the dialogue progresses in this fashion:

“Let’s have the party in Hawaii.”

“Yes, and… let’s have a big roast pig.”

“Yes, and… those little tropical drinks with umbrellas.”

“Yes, and… leis.

“Yes, and… we can charter a jet to take everyone there.”

“Yes, and… we can have fruit and poi for the vegetarians.”

“Yes, and… alcohol!”

“Yes!” (Everyone seems to be for alcohol.)

“Yes, and… we’ll get Sam to dance in a grass skirt.”

“Yes!”

This time, the participants report feeling happy, enthusiastic, and relaxed. (Even Sam.) Observers agree that this sounds like a much more enjoyable party to attend. Everyone understands that saying, “yes, but…” is just a cagey way of saying, “no.” Neirenberg and Calero, the authors of How to Read a Person Like a Book say, “‘But’ is a verbal eraser.” Nothing that comes before it counts. Saying, “yes, and…” allows the team members to accept and build on others’ offers.

In improv, any idea is better than no idea. Since the entire show is being made up on the spot, all an improviser has is what he and his fellow improvisers agree on in the moment. There is no reality, except for the mutually accepted one. As long as someone rejects what his partner offers, a scene will stall, and a new idea must be found to jump-start it. Paul Zuckerman, a producer at Chicago City Limits, used to say that refusing to say “yes” is like incessantly driving down the highway and never taking an exit. A scene (or a project) cannot get started until you commit to a destination. Sure, there may be other towns down the way, but you will never discover the treasures in any of them, unless you choose one to visit.

Accepting offers is just as important in non-improv settings. Ultimately saying “yes” is the foundation of all relationships. What is flirting, but a way of saying, “Yes, I see you, and I like what I see.” Negotiation is finding the solution that meets all parties’ needs – that each side is willing to accept. The sales process consists of getting the customer to say “yes” to whatever it is you are selling.

There are subtler rewards for saying “yes,” too. Team members become sullen, demotivated, and uninspired very quickly when their ideas are consistently rejected, whereas when their ideas are accepted, motivation increases. Individuals begin to feel more competent and a stronger sense of belonging when those around them accept their ideas. Even in the three minutes of participating in the “But vs. And” exercise, in which the stakes are non-existent, participants begin to feel frustrated or invigorated depending on the pattern. Improvisers have labeled the rejection of offers “blocking,” and it is the ultimate taboo in their world. In the world of business, blocking does not hold the same stigma, but the results – resentful and dissatisfied colleagues - may be the same.

Most people will buy into the concept that saying “yes” is valuable in theory. We like our ideas to be accepted, at least to the extent that they receive consideration. But in practice, most of us are quick to say “no.” Why?

Saying “yes” requires action.
Someone else might get more credit than we.
Someone we don’t like is championing an idea.
Contradicting or debating is a way we have learned to feel smart.
The idea offered feels risky/silly/unoriginal. (See chapter 2)
There is a perceived or actual lack of resources.
We think the idea is “bad.”
We think the idea is impossible to put into practice.
We like our own idea better.
We don’t understand the idea.
We don’t recognize that an offer has been made.
Conflict is exciting.

Keith Johnstone says, “There are people who prefer to say ‘Yes’, and there are people who prefer to say ‘No’. Those who say ‘Yes’ are rewarded by the adventures they have. Those who say ‘No’ are rewarded by the safety they attain.” Often it may be that simple. Saying ‘no’ feels safer. Less to do. Less to think about. Less to risk.

Don’t get me wrong. There are GOOD reasons to say “no.” Sometimes the reasons listed above are legitimate. If my daughter asks to go play with her friends in the middle of the freeway, I will say “no.” There are pitfalls to knee-jerk agreement (e.g. group-think) as well. But for many of us, our “no” muscles are significantly more exercised than our “yes” ones. So, we err on the side of blocking others’ ideas and experiences, rather than looking for opportunities to build.

In other words, sometimes we say “no” out of habit. We are simply more experienced at it. In the 90’s, business schools started teaching creativity courses. In the PBS series, The Creative Spirit, a professor speaks about why he felt teaching creativity was so important. His students could easily come up with 15 reasons why an idea would not work, and that he says, bespeaks a great deal of intelligence and creativity. Rarely, though, did it enter the students’ heads to apply the same talent to generating ideas or devising solutions to potential challenges in the ideas presented. All their training and socialization has been geared towards finding the problems, seeking out the weak links. If we actively look for value – offers to like, offers to agree with, we are more able to build, solve, and create. Sue Walden, of ImprovWorks, cues her clients to employ this positive mindset by responding some another’s ideas by starting with the phrase, “What I like about your idea is…” If you are looking for it, there is almost certainly something of value to find.

Let’s pause here for a moment and investigate this word “offer” that has been bandied about.

“Offer” is an improv term for anything that exists or is created by your fellow improviser. An offer can be verbal, physical, conceptual, or emotional. If an actor walks into a scene, fumbles with the door and says, “Hi, honey, I’m home,” the offers inherent in the moment include:

the words – the fact that she has labeled this place as “home” and another actor as “honey”;
the specific tone of voice – is she happy, sad, tired, frustrated, triumphant, casual?
the objects she may be carrying – does she have bags, an animal, papers, a knife? (n.b. often improvisers create “space objects” rather than using real props, since they can’t know ahead of time what they will need. Fellow improvisers must be aware of the objects created along with everything else.)
her fumbling with the door
the way she walks
the way she holds her head.

The number of offers is almost infinite. Any of them can be accepted, ignored, or rejected.

This brings us to the second, and perhaps even more interesting interpretation of “yes, and.” You see, although improvisers do talk about being positive and finding agreement, “yes, and” does not mean that I have to literally “agree” with every idea or offer. Many entertaining scenes have characters in them who fight or have different points of view. At bottom, what “yes, and” means to the improviser is “see, hear, receive” as much information as possible, and accept and build with that – because, just because, it exists. Whether we like it, agree with it, expected it, the offers that have been made are all we’ve got. As Performance of a Lifetime puts it, “It is the improviser’s obligation to ask, “How can I accept and use this offer?’, not “Will I accept it?” In real life, looking at ‘yes, and’ as a process of recognizing, accepting, and building with what exists – not what we wish existed – results in powerful creative and strategic juice.

In this context, not acknowledging or using an offer is called “blocking.” We block for all of the reasons above, and, perhaps most often, because we fail to see the offers in front of us.

Encouragingly, improvisers have discovered that ‘”Yes, and” works even when others block. The best improvisers (and most creative problem-solvers) are virtually impossible to block successfully. Alain Rostain, of Creative Advantage, suggests in his idea-generation sessions that participants think about a block, or objection to an idea, as a springboard for new ideas, rather than as a wall. Once this adjustment is made, a block becomes simply another offer.

My favorite example of an improviser accepting a blatant block and diffusing it, happened in a scene about a divorced couple fighting over custody of the children. Early in the scene, Gerri Lawlor, one of BATS Improv’s biggest crowd-pleasers, had pulled a “gun” on the actor playing her ex-husband and suggested that he hand over their child. (The gun was an imaginary prop.)

When Gerri first put up her fingers, as if holding a gun, the husband lifted his hands, backed up, said “Take it easy!” The offer of a gun had been made and accepted. Later in the scene, however – perhaps because he thought it would be funny, perhaps because he couldn’t think of anything else to say – the actor turned to Gerri and said, “What is that in your hand, anyway? That’s not a gun.” Big block. Everyone, onstage and off, held their breath.

Without a beat, Gerri replied, “It is a gun. I put a milk carton over it so that it wouldn’t scare the kids.”

Gerri accepted the offer inherent in the block (that the gun was unrecognizable) and maintained the reality of the scene. She continued to honor all of the events and assumptions that had come before. She was able to accept her partner’s offer by justifying why he might not have thought the gun was a gun. Plus, she justified it in a way that enhanced the scene, by focusing on the mother’s relationship with her child, the heart of the scene to begin with. The improvisers present that night analyzed and praised her skill. The audience just cheered with glee.

Successful collaboration requires Gerri’s sort of ebullient optimism. People will say “no.” Those individuals and teams who believe they can overcome the obstacles will try harder, give up less easily, and consequently achieve more. In his book, Learned Optimism, Martin Seligman, discusses the value of an optimistic outlook. Although studies show that pessimistic individuals may view the world in a more “realistic” way, optimists tend to succeed more often simply because they expect to. He states that “…organizations, large and small, need optimism; they need people with talent and drive, who are also optimistic. An organization filled with optimistic individuals – or studded with optimistic individuals in crucial niches – has an edge.” Specifically, Seligman suggests that individuals in the following fields need optimistic approaches: “sales, brokering, presenting and acting, fund-raising, creative jobs, highly competitive jobs, high burnout jobs.” That covers an awful lot of people. The good news, according to Seligman – as you may have divined from the title of his book – is that optimism can be learned. Improvisers believe so, too. Since the first publication of this text, an entire field of Positive Psychology has emerged from the work of Seligman and his colleagues, and the value of focusing on strengths rather than attacking weaknesses continues to gain support.

Once we decide to accept offers, the muscle is easy to exercise. In “Yes, And… Story,” players tell a story by adding one sentence each, beginning the sentences with the words “yes, and….” The activity has the dual advantage of helping participants practicing both recognizing and creating with other offers. In a story, as in real life, one must tease out the offers, keep track of the larger context, and only then choose how to contribute.

Another of my students’ favorite “yes-anding” activities, “Accept This!” (a.k.a. “It’s Tuesday”, page ___), described in Johnstone’s book, Impro. In it, one person makes a neutral or “boring” offer, and his partner over-accepts that offer. Over-accepting consists of responding as if the offer were incredibly important and then building on it to an outrageous degree. When the second person reaches a conclusion, the first person over-accepts some boring detail of that person’s rant and continues. It might look something like this:

Person A: “Here’s your coffee.”

Person B: “My coffee! Oh, my coffee. What a glorious elixir! My life’s blood. Ah, I cannot live without coffee. I was just about to quit, because I had no energy to go on. But now I can continue. The project will be complete, the company will not go bankrupt. I love coffee! I love YOU! You brought me my coffee and I love you. Can you stay for a while? Have a seat.”

Person A: (Over-accepting the neutral offer) Have a seat? Have a seat?! I…I don’t know what to say. No one has ever asked me to sit down before. I spend all day running around, bringing people coffee. Wow. You want me to sit down? Here? In this chair? This beautifully cushioned, leather chair? Oh, I couldn’t. I just… (he begins to weep with joy.)” And so on.

“Accept This!” is a terrific exercise for pointing out the power of emotion. It underlines the fact that accepting offers is as much about having an enthusiastic attitude as it is about the specific response. It is also great practice in saying “yes” first and figuring out why later.

Another simple “yes-anding” activity is “Experts.” The familiar format and slightly less hysterical genre make it a preferred choice when working with traditional or slightly reticent clients. A talk-show format is set up with a host and a guest. The guest is assigned an area of expertise, and the host interviews him. The expert is instructed to feign extreme confidence, and to answer every question in the affirmative. The interviewer is instructed to respond as if she is very impressed and to “yes, and” the expert’s statements by allowing her questions to be inspired by the last answer. The directive to say “yes” to all questions produces wild results, and students may resist at first. When coached consistently, though, they submit and the results are delightful.

“So, you’ve written a book,” the interviewer says.

“Yes,” the expert responds.

“I see it’s called, ‘Dating Tips for the Shy Giraffe’.” (The group has given the guest the topic of “animal husbandry,” and the performers have begun to talk about “animal husbands.” From there, they get to animal dating.)

“Yes, it is. ‘Dating Tips for the Shy Giraffe’.”

“What’s tip number 1?”

“Bring flowers.” (The expert answers quickly, even though he later says he wanted to censor his answer as too obvious.)

“Flowers, ah, yes, wonderful. And why is it so important for shy giraffes especially to bring flowers?”

“Well, if there’s something there to eat, you don’t have to talk.”

The students laugh appreciatively. The expert swears that he did not have any idea where he was going to end up. But by simply saying “yes” to his interviewer’s questions – and to his own impulses – he created a satisfying and entertaining interchange that was successful in ways he could not have anticipated ahead of time.

So, what about real life? Let us take a look at a couple of examples in which saying “No” seems to be the only option. Can we use the power of “Yes, and” in constructive ways?

Above we used the example of my daughter asking to play in traffic. Obviously I am not going to agree to her suggestion. This is a clear “no-is-the-right-answer” situation, yes? But if we look a little deeper, are their offers we can accept? She says she wants to go with her friends to play in the middle of the freeway. First, what offers are there? Perhaps she:

wants to find a new, fresh activity
wants to go on some wild adventure
impress her friends
likes cars and wants to be near them
is fascinated by traffic patterns
wants Mommy’s attention as she sits at the computer writing for hours.

Any of those desires provide “yes, anding” opportunities. I will not “agree” to let her play in traffic, but I could design a scavenger hunt in the house. Or take her to a car show. Or show her an aerial view of traffic in Bangalore. Or put the computer away and cuddle.

William Ury, co-author of the paradigm-changing Getting to Yes, the book that introduced the concept of win-win negotiating to the general population, more recently wrote a book called, The Power of the Positive No. He wrote it, he said, because he looked around at all the efforts to get to “yes” in a win-win manner and though, “Yike! What have I done!?” He saw example after example of people undermining their own best interests, or acting against their own values in service of what they thought Win-Win meant. In The Power of A Positive No, then, Ury puts forth a Positive “No,” if you will. He says, “In contrast to an ordinary No which begins with No and ends with No, a Positive No begins with Yes and ends with Yes.” (p.16) The first “yes” refers to our fundamental values or commitments or “interests” in Ury’s language. In the example above, it is my daughter’s safety and well-being. Any position that threatens that core value, I should not say “yes” to. (i.e. playing in traffic). So the second layer of the yes sandwich is a “no.” “No, I will not let you play in traffic.” I should be willing to assert my power in defense of my first “yes.”

It is the third layer that provides opportunity. It says, now that I have protected my baseline value, what CAN I find to say “yes” to? This is the layer of “yes, and.” I may not agree with you, but I will make the effort to assume value in your offers, and to look for ways to build with them. Ury calls the third “yes” an Invitation, and suggests it builds relationship.

Imagine the following scenarios:

Your boss asks you to stay late AGAIN.
A direct report rolls her eyes when you ask her to do something
Your colleague suggests an idea for a project. You tried a similar thing two years ago, and it was a disaster.
Your sales force is promising timeframes that manufacturing cannot meet.
Your mother-in-law wants to move in.

What are the offers being made? What are your own interests and values (e.g. the offers you are making to yourself?) Given that, where can you assume value in the offers your partner is making, rather than simply blocking? What can you build with?

Drawing It Out

“Yes, anding…” is not only a verbal process. “Paired Drawing” is based on a Johnstone exercise, “Eyes.” Participants are asked to draw two dots, which serve as eyes, on a shared piece of paper. Then, in pairs, they draw a face alternating back and forth, contributing a line or feature, each turn. As soon as one of the sketchers hesitates, the drawing is finished. Then two artists, alternating one letter at a time, title it. Charles Schwab employees created the examples below as part of a teambuilding session in San Francisco.

The Principle in Action

The more power an individual has, the more it matters whether she rejects or accepts ideas. A manager who kills the suggestions of his direct reports will soon find he has a staff devoid of ideas or initiative. A trainer who ignores the input of her students will fail to impart her material. Here are some methods for applying the “Yes, and” philosophy.

Assess and Strengthen Your Personal “Yes, and” Ability

If you wish to encourage certain behaviors, there is no better place to start than with yourself. Start to track your own reactions. How often do you accept other’s ideas? When do you say “no?” Check your analysis with those who report to you. Do they perceive you to be as open as you expected? If you find yourself blocking offers more than you want to, try to figure out why. Take a look at the list of reasons people say “no” recorded above and see which ones strike a chord. You might also want to assess the environment in which you work. Do you feel like your ideas are accepted? If not, how do you react?

Take the time outside the workplace to practice your “yes, anding” skills. Make up “Yes, and” stories. Imagine saying “yes” to ideas that you have previously rejected. Pause and reflect on your reasons before saying “no” to ideas. See if there are ways to use your resistance as a springboard to a solution that builds on the idea. Pledge to explore at least one stupid idea a week.

Look for Value

Andrew Kimball, of Qube Learning, a Silicon Valley consulting firm specializing in human performance, tells this story. Consolidated Foods was looking for ideas for new candy products. In one of their brainstorming sessions, someone came up with the idea of “candy that could talk.” The idea was recorded but rejected by most people as ridiculous and impractical. It wasn’t like you could get tape recorders that small, even if people would be willing to swallow them. An executive in the group, however, was taken with the concept and pursued it. Upon further investigation, he found out that his chemists had been working on a process for encasing carbon dioxide in a sugar shell. When placed in water these small pellets would explode, making crackling and popping sounds. In other words, they talked. The CEO devoted lots of resources to the project, and “Pop Rocks,” which had one of the most successful new candy debuts in history, was born.

It is not enough to generate original ideas. Those ideas must be nurtured and brought to fruition. Remember, it is not the ideas that seem practical and safe which need a champion. A “yes, and” mindset is most important when you don’t initially agree or see obvious value. When you do, yes, and is automatic.

Enhance Teamwork

Teams that accept and build on each other’s ideas are more creative, more collaborative, and have less unproductive conflict. The “yes, anding” exercises in this book will enable teams to practice supporting each other, maximize their creative output, and build trust. Simply being aware of when team members are accepting and when they are blocking can help a group work more effectively together. Often we are blind to how much we reject without exploration. By bringing a conscious focus to this aspect of their interactions, team members can work to build trust, risk-taking, problem-solving, and a sense of common purpose.

Motivate

As mentioned in Chapter 2, self-determination theory suggests that the elements of intrinsic motivation are perceived needs for competence, autonomy, and relatedness. Accepting and building with individuals’ offers enhance motivation in all three areas. Learners will feel more competent if a trainer acknowledges and builds on the skills they already possess. When employees have their ideas valued, they feel both a sense of control over their environment, and a sense of affiliation with those who accept them. In general, team members who feel their experience and input is valued will be more engaged and happier.

Key Points:

Say “yes, and…”: Accept offers and add to them.
Spontaneity is a way of saying “yes” to yourself
“But” is a verbal eraser.
An “offer” can be anything.
Saying “yes” is the bedrock of all relationships
We can come up with all sorts of reasons to say ‘no’.
Saying no (blocking) is a well-developed habit.
Blocking can be overcome.
Optimism is the willingness to overcome obstacles and continue to say “yes.”
Remember your “Yes” sandwich
Assess and strengthen your own ability
Look for value
Enhance teamwork
Motivate through acceptance